Thursday, January 31, 2013

God helps the Hapless with Hurricane Sandy

I was reminded yesterday that I have been a failure at blogging. Time is my enemy. I have been meaning to post this since Sandy hit.
The story involves several different groups of characters.
My twin sister has been on Wall street since 1969. It has been a brutal place for women. Over 25 years ago, she realized that she needed to be able to escape the city time and again if she was to have any sanity. She bought a wonderful old old home on the ocean in an old whaling village called Orient - as far out onto the tip of Long Island as she could get. To de-stress, she hung a swing on her front porch where she could sit and drink and glass of wine , watch the ocean and chill out .
My husband discovered the island when we went to visit Myrna and Judy. He fell in love with the place. Orient is inhabited by a wonderful group of  brilliant gay women - editors, surgeons, artists. None of them are handy. Enter my husband. He loves oysters and clams more than any other food.  He is the ultimate handyman, a jack of all trades.The women discovered that he could be bought - an oyster gigilo as it were. The phone rings early when we are there. "Can Terry come fix my screen door? I'll take him to the dock for oysters and beer". He's off like a shot.
Now we add to the mix a man and wife - both New York divorce lawyers. Megabucks. In front of my sister's home between her house and the ocean is a service road to the yacht club. In a semicircle of this service road was land that was never to be sold. Somehow these two bought it - and planted HUGE cedars. The covenants of the village state that nothing over 3 feet is to be planted along the ocean. These two just pay the fines and keep going. They totally blocked the view of the ocean from my sister's porch.
Terry and I were visiting. My sister has survived 5 cancer surgeries - 3 breast cancer surgeries, and thyroid and parathyroid cancer surgery. We were drinking wine and staring at the cedars. She got quite tearful looking at them and saying how much she missed the ocean. You understand that I would kill for this woman.
Everyone went to bed - but I went to the internet. " How to kill Cedars". You cannot imagine what all came up, but the most expedient method is to drill a hole in the trunk and fill it with antifreeze. Hmmm. Judy had a drill, and had antifreeze. I had only to find some dark clothes. Keep in mind that I don't even kill bugs - I catch them and release outside. This was difficult for me. I apologized to each tree as I went around. I wasn't sure it would work.  I broke off a branch and plugged each hole as I went. My sister caught me as I was returning to the house. "What if they had survellience cameras?" Good question. No problem - they would think it was Judy. After all, we're twins.
Six months later, my sister called and said "Open your email". "Why" '"JUST DO IT. It's the great cedar blight!!!". The trees were falling right and left. Her view was back! Mass quantities of wine were drunk to celebrate. But, sadly, that was shortlived. They planted new trees. I wasn't sure I want up to killing more trees. God might get me. But, it would have to be done this Spring as soon as I could get there.
SAVED BY SANDY. While very little good came from the hurricane, I can only think God did this particular deed to save me from myself. All trees were obliterated. My twin's home has to have new floors and appliances, but for the most part was unscathed. The lovely couple - well, their home was hit quite hard. They are selling and moving. What a shame! Terry can't wait to get back to his adoring fans and the oysters, I can't wait to get back to see the ocean.